October 5: Today my life began. My parents don’t know it yet, but I am here. I’m a girl; I’ll have blond hair and blue eyes. All my genetic imprints are present, also that I will have a weakness for flowers.
October 19: Some say I am not even a real person yet, and only my mother exists. But I am a real person, just like a crumb of bread is bread. My mother exists, and I do, too.
October 23: Now my mouth opens. In about a year I will be able to laugh and speak. I know what my first word will be: Mommy.
October 25: Today my heart began to beat. From now on it will beat for the rest of my life without ever stopping to take a break. Only after many years will it stop beating and I will die.
November 2: Every day I grow more. My arms and legs are forming, but it will be a long time until I can stand on those tiny legs and run into the arms of my mother, until I can pick flowers with those tiny arms and hug my father.
November 12: Tiny fingers are starting to grow on my hands. How small they still are! One day I will be able to stroke my mother’s hair.
November 20: Just today the doctor told my mother that I live beneath her heart. Oh, how happy she must be. Are you happy, Mommy?
November 25: Mommy and Daddy are probably trying to come up with a name for me. But they don’t know that I am a little girl. I would love to be called Susie. My, I have already grown so much!
December 10: My hair is starting to grow. It is soft and with a beautiful shine. Wonder what kind of hair Mommy has.
December 13: Soon I will be able to see. It is dark around me. When Mommy gives birth to me I will see sunshine and flowers. But the best will be to see my Mommy. I wonder what you look like.
December 24: I wonder if Mommy hears the whispers of my heart. Some children are born ill. But my heart is strong and healthy. It beats evenly: bum-bum, bum-bum. Mommy, you will have a healthy little daughter!
December 28: Today my mother killed me. She just killed me.
I am in Heaven now, sitting on Jesus’ lap. He loves me and is close to me. I would have loved to be your little girl and don’t quite understand what has happened. I was so excited to find out that I came to be. I was in a dark but cozy place. I realized that I had fingers and toes. I was quite developed, although not quite ready to leave that cozy place. Mostly I just thought and slept. From the very beginning I felt so connected with you.... Sometimes I heard you cry and I cried with you. Sometimes you yelled really loud and then you cried. And I heard how Daddy yelled back at you. I was so sad and hoped that you would feel better soon. I have always wondered why you cried so much. One day you cried all day long. My soul was hurting so much. I could not imagine that it was I who made you so unhappy.
It was this very day that something terrible happened. A mean monster came into this warm cozy place that I lived in. I was petrified and began to scream, but no sound came over my lips. The monster came closer and closer and I kept screaming, “Mommy, Mommy, help me, please help me!” All I felt was horrendous fear. I screamed and screamed till I could no longer scream. Then the monster ripped my arm off. It hurt so much, what excruciating pain. And it would not stop. Oh, I begged and begged for it to stop. I screamed with horrific pain when that monster ripped out my leg. Despite inexplicable pain I knew I was dying. I knew that I would never see your face or hear from you how much you loved me. I wanted to stop all your tears, and had so many plans to make you happy - now I couldn’t do this anymore; my dreams were shattered. Although I felt inconceivable pain and terrible fear, I felt mainly my heart breaking. More than anything I wanted to be your daughter.
But it was all in vain because I died a horrific death!
I could only guess what they did to you. Before I went I wanted to tell you how much I loved you, but I didn’t know the words you could understand. And soon afterwards I did not have the breath to say them. I was dead!
I felt how I rose. I was carried by a giant angel to a large, glorious place. I still cried, but the physical pain was gone. An angel brought me to Jesus and sat me on His lap. Jesus said to me that He loved me and that God is my Father. I was happy. I asked Him what this thing was that killed me. He answered, “It was the abortionist.” Then He said, “I am so sorry, my child, I know what that feels like.”
I am writing to tell you that I love you, and how much I would have loved to be your little girl. I have done all in my power to live. I wanted to live. I had the will, but I couldn’t. The monster was too strong. It was impossible to live. I just wanted you to know that I tried to stay with you. I did not want to die! So, Mommy, please stay away from this monster called abortion. Mommy, I love you and I don’t want you to go through the hell I went through.
Please take care of yourself!